Allies and Racism - A Thank You Note
I want to sincerely thank all of my non-black friends and allies who have offered their support during this emotionally challenging and racially-charged time in America. Many of you have posted images of truth and shared words of encouragement and I deeply appreciate you.
Some of you have shared things that, if I had shared them myself, would have alienated some other white friends who honestly believe I need to "get over it already". Allies are an essential part of any movement and I am genuinely grateful for mine. Thank you for your understanding, your bravery and your love.
Some people think it is racist for me or anyone who is black to draw attention to experienced racism or to even say words like "black" or "white". These people are unfamiliar with the actual dictionary definition of racism. These humans do not want their attention drawn to the overt, limiting and hurtful racism that I have experienced more days of my life than they would allow themselves to imagine because thinking about it makes them feel uncomfortable. For these reasons and more, I am so very grateful to our allies who acknowledge the challenges of being black in America and push for justice. Thank you, thank you! I love you!
I also want to honestly thank the people who have shared their obtuse, insensitive, or blatantly hateful sentiments regarding blacks and race in America. Many of my non-black friends truly believed that racism was in America's past until they saw the hateful words of their own friends and family members spewn across their Facebook timelines in response to their own supportive posts. The acts of these openly racist or insensitive people speaking their truth help prove to the world that we do have a race problem in America for those who have not been able to see it happening first hand at work or in their communities. I love you too, people who hate me or my race or who just don't understand why you should care. You are playing a big part by helping to raise awareness of the need for equality.
I thank my black friends who have bravely shared our truth and supported me and one another during these times when collaboration and mutual support can be dangerous both socially and physically. I love you! I am proud to stand with you in truth and hope!
I send love and peace to all of the people who have been left behind by loved ones who were murdered by police and by gunmen of all races.
My great, great, great grandmother was a Native American woman. She was impregnated by her white, British slave master/owner. While I could imagine that they were deeply in love, it is far more likely that she did not have a choice in whether to open her body to him or carry his child. The act of taking a slave woman whose right to refuse has been stripped from her is both racist and sexist. Yet the blood of my slave owner forefather flows through my veins as surely as my Native American foremother's.
All of us have been conditioned and affected by racism in ways that most of us would rather not acknowledge. We often do not even realize when we are acting upon this conditioning! But only by examining these difficult aspects of ourselves and our society may we begin to unravel the heavy fabric of racism upon which our great nation was built.
In the meantime, we don't have to allow racism to continue to divide us. When we see or experience racism happening, we can call it out and discuss it. We can listen, honor and respect each others' feelings and experiences, even when they make us uncomfortable. Remember that the person feeling victimized is also uncomfortable. In addition to processing their emotional pain they are being vulnerable as they share their truth with you, so dealing with your own guilty feelings as you invite them to keep sharing is a gift that you can give. They are usually not blaming you and if you can listen in spite of your discomfort then your willingness to hear and support them can help both of you to heal and to unify as humans.
We heal as a nation by uniting and loving one another through these challenging times.
Some of you have shared things that, if I had shared them myself, would have alienated some other white friends who honestly believe I need to "get over it already". Allies are an essential part of any movement and I am genuinely grateful for mine. Thank you for your understanding, your bravery and your love.
Some people think it is racist for me or anyone who is black to draw attention to experienced racism or to even say words like "black" or "white". These people are unfamiliar with the actual dictionary definition of racism. These humans do not want their attention drawn to the overt, limiting and hurtful racism that I have experienced more days of my life than they would allow themselves to imagine because thinking about it makes them feel uncomfortable. For these reasons and more, I am so very grateful to our allies who acknowledge the challenges of being black in America and push for justice. Thank you, thank you! I love you!
I also want to honestly thank the people who have shared their obtuse, insensitive, or blatantly hateful sentiments regarding blacks and race in America. Many of my non-black friends truly believed that racism was in America's past until they saw the hateful words of their own friends and family members spewn across their Facebook timelines in response to their own supportive posts. The acts of these openly racist or insensitive people speaking their truth help prove to the world that we do have a race problem in America for those who have not been able to see it happening first hand at work or in their communities. I love you too, people who hate me or my race or who just don't understand why you should care. You are playing a big part by helping to raise awareness of the need for equality.
I thank my black friends who have bravely shared our truth and supported me and one another during these times when collaboration and mutual support can be dangerous both socially and physically. I love you! I am proud to stand with you in truth and hope!
I send love and peace to all of the people who have been left behind by loved ones who were murdered by police and by gunmen of all races.
My great, great, great grandmother was a Native American woman. She was impregnated by her white, British slave master/owner. While I could imagine that they were deeply in love, it is far more likely that she did not have a choice in whether to open her body to him or carry his child. The act of taking a slave woman whose right to refuse has been stripped from her is both racist and sexist. Yet the blood of my slave owner forefather flows through my veins as surely as my Native American foremother's.
All of us have been conditioned and affected by racism in ways that most of us would rather not acknowledge. We often do not even realize when we are acting upon this conditioning! But only by examining these difficult aspects of ourselves and our society may we begin to unravel the heavy fabric of racism upon which our great nation was built.
In the meantime, we don't have to allow racism to continue to divide us. When we see or experience racism happening, we can call it out and discuss it. We can listen, honor and respect each others' feelings and experiences, even when they make us uncomfortable. Remember that the person feeling victimized is also uncomfortable. In addition to processing their emotional pain they are being vulnerable as they share their truth with you, so dealing with your own guilty feelings as you invite them to keep sharing is a gift that you can give. They are usually not blaming you and if you can listen in spite of your discomfort then your willingness to hear and support them can help both of you to heal and to unify as humans.
We heal as a nation by uniting and loving one another through these challenging times.
